He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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