Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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