why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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