It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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