And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
