I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
do herpes really smell.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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