Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
