Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
