He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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