Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize