if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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