Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
