hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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