I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
