Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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