Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
