I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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