There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fuck appropriateness.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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