Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
