I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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