I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
