Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
