Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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