I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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