my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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