They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
