So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Too much gin, very little bucket
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
