This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.