So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
23 People Confess The Lamest Things They’ve Ever Done To Fit In
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
These 27 Texts Prove Pets Make Better BFFs Than Humans
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?