he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How many fucks given?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.