My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
