Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's like a pop up book from hell.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
