i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
