you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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