i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
