dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
