The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
