grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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