I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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