Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize