I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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