she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
