I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
