Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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