yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize