so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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