The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
