So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
