it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
