Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
