Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
