My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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