is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she told me i tasted like america
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
