When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
