he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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