my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just gift wrapped bread.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
