I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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