420 ftw
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
