Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
