We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.