My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
