Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
