Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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