I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
