I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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