it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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