OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize